Lost Chance

I wonder if by some of the things I write, either here or in the Rosso Today mag, if i appear to be a “perfect Dad” … whatever that is supposed to mean anyway.  Let me tell you straight up, that is not the case.  There have been many times I wish I could steal back some of the sharp words, body language or actions that have come from me.  Today is one of those times.

Have you ever thought about missed opportunities?  This morning (back to work Tuesday after an Easter bank holiday Monday) Chase got up early as is his usual case.  I got up with him and straight away he wanted to decorate the buns we had made the night before.  We messed around for a short bit as yesterday I brought down a black trunk (we had used for moving) he wanted to use to practice magic tricks.  The thought struck me that I could “redeem the time” by making the phone call to the bank.  Chase was, for 20 minutes, trying to ask me to put on my clown dress up bits so we can play.  For 20 minutes I was on the phone talking to someone who said they cared about our situation but knew me no more than the man on the moon.  For 20 minutes Chase offered me an opportunity to do something with him …

After 30 minutes (of angonisingly listening to blah, blah), I put the phone down and said, OK Chase what are we going to do before I have to go?

“I want to watch a DVD (the one I gave you while you were on the phone)”

“… OK … can I sit with you?”

“No, when I sit on your lap, my bum goes to sleep”

That’s the first time, ever, that I remember Chase saying he didn’t want to sit on my lap.  He may have said it before but this time was different.

I can never win back that chance …

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